today has been a very hard day for me. sometimes i wish i weren't a nurse because i think i read and analyze things more than they need to be. russ kept his lunch and dinner down yesterday which is great. his appetite has drastically decreased since before his ileus. i wonder is it because he hadn't eaten for 3 days (most likely), is it because he still has a partial ileus (possibly) or is it because he did have another bleed and the disease has just progressed so that he can't process eating as well(possible as well).
there have been no real BM's since eating but it is only been 24 hours so i need to be patient. this morning after breakfast he was very cool & clammy like he was prior to the transfer to the hospice unit. i wonder if it is because the day was starting to heat up and i needed to turn the room air conditioner on (most likely) or because the block in his small bowel is still there (possibly)?
after breakfast he started hiccuping and could not stop for about 20 minutes. the same thing happened after dinner last night and lunch today. i know that if the blockage is still there, his enlarging stomach will put pressure on his diaphragm which will cause the hiccuping. is that the reason (quite possibly)or is he swallowing air after not eating for so many days (possibly), or is it coincidental? (?) his stomach still appears fairly soft and he still only looks 7 months pregnant instead of 9.
he was very sleepy today after breakfast and all he wanted to do was sleep but i knew i needed to get him up to walk. today it took me and an aide i bet 15 minutes to get him up, unlike the previous days before he started the solid foods again. was this due to him being uncomfortable in his gut (possibly), tired from the eating and walking the previous day(quite possibly) or just "one of those AD days?"(very possible).
i am not very good at always being patient. i need to put my faith in God's hand and pray that He will take care of things. this is hard for me as i like to be in control. with this disease, there are so many unknowns that we know this is not possible. so many have posted, myself included, about the uncertainly of this disease. yet that doesn't make it any easier to accept it.
i guess i still have a lot of work to do on that. i hope to get some sleep tonight and save some analyzing for tomorrow.
8 comments:
My nurse friends are great when other people are sick but really difficult when they are ill. One of them who is a nurse practitioner won't go for help herself because she says she knows the "system" too well. I didn't understand that at first but I've learned it myself all to well.
A year or two ago I had to take dad to the ER. After about a week there was still no agreement about the problem. The only thing they found was some gall stones but the gall bladder itself seemed okay. My primary argued for surgery and these other 2 guys argued against and they came to me to make the decision. Removed it and about another week later we came home. Dad recovered amazingly well.
But we never did know for sure if that was the problem. That was not a pleasant experience.
Still praying for both of you.
Still keeping you both in my prayers. I was really hoping he would move his bowels by today.
I would think it would be harder on you being a nurse because you know more about what it could be. Too much knowledge can be a bad thing. I just have to listen to what the nurses think and hope they are right.
Oh Nancy....You are a blessing to me, because I am so glad I am just an 'ignoramous' when it comes to all of this stuff. I read what I can, and find myself searching Web MD (which the Doctors hate, if you haven't noticed!) but to have it be your profession, and still come up so empty-handed, I really can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you?
But, you are a woman of 'faith' and you should be proud of that. If I ever needed a Nurse (which isn't often) "YOU" would be my choice!!!!
Now, does 'that' make you 'feel' better? It should, you're awesome!
I don't hold a nursing degree but I have had a lot of caregiving experience so I understand what you are saying here. I know it's hard to be patient and trust in the care Russ is getting in the unit. You are doing a wonderful job, Nancy.
Unlike many other nurses I know, you are very logical and have a great deal of common sense. Many times a nurse will have one of these traits but not the other, especially when it comes to their own family.
All I can say is that in the time I have known you, you have shown great courage and a common sense approach. Trust your gut, Nancy. If something doesn't feel right, question it. Follow those instincts. Since there really aren't any rules, sometimes that's all we have to go on.
And now for you - are you getting any rest?
arrived back at hospice this am. still no BM.
Gosh, I had so hoped for a better report. Is Russ on narcotics? I'm sure you know, but they are very binding. Have you tried any sort of stool softener? If there has been a partial obstruction, I should think he may need some help moving things along. How about good old fashioned prune juice?
I'm racking my mind here, Nancy, trying to think of ways to get someone to loosen up. If I think of anything else, I'll post it. I know you have probably tried them all, but I don't know....grasping at straws here, I guess.
Stay strong and your updates are appreciated.
Oops....I'm not trying to get someone to loosen up, but trying to get someTHING to loosen up.
Ground up Flax Seeds seem to be like Human Rotor-Rooter for me? I am not sure if the Doctors would approve though?
I just buy them whole, and grind them up in an old coffee grinder!
I told Connie, we were all praying for "Poop!" She laughed, from her hospital bed! Good sign.
Still praying for you & Russ, Nancy!
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