the last day or 2 have been busy with preparations for the funeral. i know this is something that needs to be done and i do want it nice yet a part of me just wants it all over.
i am thankful my sister is helping with all of this, or maybe i should say that i am helping her with all the preparations. so many phone calls needs to be made; family, friends (of both my dad's and mine), former co-workers of my dad. then there are all the calls to the funeral home, doctor's offices, VA office, daycare, etc. everyone wants to send their condolences and hear about how it was, especially at the end. a part of me is now feeling that i can just about push the play button and just let the canned recording play. that may sound cold but i feel at times like i'm on autopilot.
yesterday sue and i also met with my pastor to plan the memorial service. it will be similar to the one for my mom. i have a few ideas but again i am deferring a lot to sue. i guess a part of me feels i did what i really wanted to do in terms of keeping russ at home for the majority of this illness, and getting russ home at the end so he could die at home, that now there is a letdown and it doesn't matter as much. i am more than happy for sue to step in.
because of how we are handling it, having 2 visitations in 2 different towns, it will be longer than my mom's or most traditional visitations/funerals. yet i think we made the right choice to do it this way. russ' family and old co-workers/friends live closer to me and will not have to drive as far with the first visitation. but they had vacationed up in door county for over 40 years and lived there for over 20 so we need to have one up there as well, where he will be buried.
my nieces are compiling photos to display on boards as well as have a dvd slide show playing. they did a wonderful job on this for my mom so i will spend some time today looking for old photos to include. whatever i come up with fine, i'm not worried as i don't think i had time with my mom's to look for any at all and it was a wonderful tribute to her. we all do our parts.
unk and dunk arrive tomorrow and then the boys come home thursday in time for the visitation. the fall colors are starting to turn. i think it should make for a very beautiful setting up north. fall is my favorite time of the year and i know russ loved to watch all the leaves turn colors as well.
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10 comments:
going on autopiolet is not the worst thing right now. Its probably safest. You will come down from it I promiss. I have never had to make the plans for a furneral before but I have been around it and I know it can be really stressfull. Just hang tight my friend. Know your loved.
Auto-pilot can be a good thing sometimes. I think its how I get through the rough times.
I am really glad to hear your sister is involved in the planning.
Take care, friend. A long rest is in order once you get through the next few days. Ive got you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm glad your letting your sister do the majority of it. I certainly know what you mean about telling the story over and over again. I really don't know how you are doing two services. I don't think I could handle that. I will be thinking of you.
Give unk a big hug from me. :)
Even before I hit the "comments" link, I was thinking you were going into autopilot. Great minds?
Sounds like everything is going to come off beautifully for a moving tribute to Russ' life. He would love it and be proud of what his family has done for him.
Many hugs to you as you continue on your autopilot flight. It will give you strength to get through these rough days. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
And want to thank you for sharing your experiences.
You went with your father through this journey. I'm just starting with my dad. It helps to read your story and get accustomed with what lies ahead of us.
ella
Get ready, I’m coming to town. Your sister called, and I guess she lost the arm wrestling, cause she is picking me up from the airport. We will give Russ a proper and respectful memorial and burial, then we are going to get on with our lives, which in my case is to live it to the fullest. Life is for the living, your father was a good and great man and he wanted the best for his daughters. As a result of my sister passing (your mother), I have written instructions of how I want my memorial. I want all my friends to have a party, get well lubricated, and then those who choose take a shot glass of my ashes, and spread it on Folsom Lake (No points will be given for neatness). It some how pleases me to picture a bunch of drunks throwing shot glasses of ashes all over the place.
Russ had a great sense of humor (like telling his niece that he could fly) and I intend to get everyone that comes to the service to share some of his great moments. In my never to be humble opinion that is how he should be remembered.
I am telling you this so you will have enough time to hide in the shed and pretend that you are not home when I come to visit.
I love you.
PS:
Tell Lori, hugs are always welcome.
O.K. I know who "Unk" is, I think, but who is "Dunk?"
P.S. Me Scared! LOL!
Nancy,
I know you must be exhausted and the next few days will probably put you over the top. You'll be running on adrenalin and the Lord lifting you up. I will pray that your health will hold up until you can collapse next week.
Is there anyone who can video tape your Dad's funeral? Sounds like you will be hearing lots of stories that you will want to treasure for years to come. I did this with my parents' services and I wouldn't take anything for the recordings.
Continuing to pray for you and your family.
Thinking about you Nancy.
Also sending you my best wishes. I know you will do everything perfectly, and then, I am hoping have a really good & long rest.
Let us know how you are doing Nancy.
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