lori, a very good friend of mine from the board titled her blog today, "this isn't life." i could so identify with her post. today russ actually had a very good morning, relatively speaking. he was able to track people and i actually think he recognized my face and voice unlike the last few days. i told him i loved him and he attempted to move his lips to reply what he used to say, "i love you too." but was unfortunately unable. i told him that he was going to get to come home with me in 2 days and he smiled. he slept all afternoon, but peacefully.
russ had 3 BM's yesterday and 1 this morning. i have been talking to the nurses trying to decide what is the best course of action for medication once he comes home. i don't want him constipated yet i don't think he needs to be having that many stools when his intake is next to nothing.
my 2 nieces arrived this afternoon but he slept through most of their visit. i tried to wash his face to arouse him but no luck. in the evening he seemed to awaken and the nurses tried to get some medicine down him but he gaged, coughed and possibly aspirated some of it. they said he looked panicked. the nurses decided then that enough is enough. it is time to stop all oral intake. he can virtually not swallow anymore. tomorrow hopefully the doctor will order a pain patch for any discomfort. once again, all my questions and concerns about how to handle the bowel meds at home have all now been answered.
russ be will coming home with me monday morning. i will do everything possible to keep him comfortable and pain free. nothing else will be attempted. as lori said this isn't life and i know russ would agree. maybe helen and russ can cross the gates into heaven together, free of this disease. if not and helen goes first i hope she will be calling hello, hello, to welcome russ Home.
11 comments:
Oh Nancy, this is so touching! I too would love to see Helen & Russ walk hand & hand across those pearly gates.
What agoney, for the Caregivers. I think the only consilation is that it is probably harder on you, but I can only guess.
You are both amazing, woman, and they are both so, so, lucky to have you!
There is some new life coming tomorrow, on Sunday, and doesn't it help to see the circle of life? It is all so...natural, painful, but natural.
None of will get out of here alive. That is all I know, for sure. :-( N.Mc.
My dear Nancy,
Russ will be happy to be home with you and make his final journey with your love surrounding him. God Bless you my dear and my thoughts and prayers remain with you and Russ.
My dear friend. I will say the same prayers for Russ that I pray for Helen. I know you want him home when he passes so I will wait until Monday to pray for his passing. Yes it would be wonderful if Helen and Russ entered the Kingdom together. It's actually a very comforting thought. My heart is with you.
Nancy,
I am praying that you will feel God's presence in a powerful way. I am praying that Russ will have a smooth transition to your home and a peaceful transition to his Heavenly home. May God continue to give you strength and courage to walk your sweet Daddy Home.
In His Love,
Ann
Your post brought tears to my eyes - such love from a daddy's girl! I don't know which is worse, loosing them suddenly as I did or going this route. There are no easy answers.
I think it's beautiful how you say "I love you" to each other. Even if he can't mouth it any longer, there is no doubt in my mind that he feels it.
I am in awe of your level-headed decisions with Russ. You have managed to keep his needs at the top of the list. It doesn't get any better than that.
I am proud to know you, Nancy. I'm here any time you need someone.
Nancy,
My thoughts continue to be with you and Russ. Rob and I and the girls are currently in South Carolina, visiting Rob's folks. We leave tomorrow morning for Disney World, and I may not be online for a few days. I will cotninue to keep you in my prayers, and hope that Russ can hold on until he is home and with his loved ones, before passing. Sending love, comfort and peace to all of you.
Your words are so wonderfully loving and caring. I'm praying for you and Russ.
thank you all for all your kind words, prayers and support. it gives me such strength to face this difficult situation. i'm very lucky to have you all.
i will be updating everyone once i get russ home and get situated. his day yesterday was comfortable. he even wanted to take a few spoonfuls of pudding. the day nurse asked and he opened his mouth up for her. i was floored.
Oh Nancy. I wish I could give you a real hug I really do. I hope he is home and comfortable now. We are all thinking of you. In my classes and when I am doing homework. I will keep you. I will pray strength to get though it all. Try to enjoy your last time with him. Think about the beautiful times you two have had. He would want you to be happy now. I know thats hard but try for him.
Is he home, is he home yet? :-)
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