3 weeks

it has been 3 weeks since russ died. it sure doesn't seem that long. many of my days have been spent doing what needs to be done and not much more. hopefully i will soon feel more energized to get out more and just be motivated to do things.

lynne, a hospice nurse called last night to check in on me and see how i was doing. it was so sweet of her to call and we had a really nice talk. i was explaining how the house seemed so empty. not only was russ not here but both boys are off at school. in such a short time my home went from 5 down to 2.

she pointed out to me that janine no longer makes her routine visits nor does victoria, the hospice aid or joann, the home health aid i had coming in some evenings. i am not seeing the drivers who use to pick russ up for day care or talking with the staff at daycare either. with russ' death, all those people i had come to know and rely on and communicated with on a regular basis are now gone as well. i'm sure they still think about russ and me, as i think about them, but we have lost that need for personal contact.

the one thing i know is there are still my blogging friends. even though i may not be posting daily like i use to, i still read all of your blogs daily. i continue to take comfort in knowing you are all there and you still check in with me as well.

this is an unique journey we AD caregivers travel. i truly believe it binds us forever and unless one has experienced it or walked the same journey people just can't understand. so i thank all of you for being my friend and i look forward to keeping up with you as we continue to walk this AD journey, whether it be still in the present or after our LO's have ended their journey. ours lives will continue and i hope we will continue to share them with one another for a long, long time.