a friend of mine from my book club lost her mother early monday morning. she had not been in the best of health and vicki said they used to say her mom had 9 lives as numerous times in the past they thought she would not pull through only to rebound and enjoy life some more. this past weekend, that was not to be the case.
visitation was this afternoon/evening. i wanted to go yet must admit i had some reservations. this was the first visitation i would attend since russ died. what i think affected me as much was the memory of my mom's death. in a little over 2 weeks it will be 2 years since she died. today was also bitterly cold, -30+ wind chill. schools were closed due to the cold. this was also the exact weather when my mom died. i remember some relatives and close friends were unable to make her funeral due to the cold weather. i had not been outside all day and the thought of it was not appealing for many reasons.
i drove with bob and 3 other gals from my book club. strength in numbers definitely holds true. we stayed for part of the visitation but i knew i was not ready to stay for the funeral service. i think everyone understood but to be honest, if they didn't, too bad.
when we got home, i decided it was a good night for chili. that also triggered memories. i remembered how my mom always cooked chili in the winter about once a week and how it always tasted so good, especially on cold nights. well, tonight would definitely qualify as a good chili night. i also remembered how last year we only had chili once. as much as russ loved chili, it went right through him, so bob and i decided, it wasn't worth it. well, life changes and goes on whether we want it to or not. and days like this are hard but we also learn how important it is to take those baby steps. i'm proud of myself for making it through the day. one day at a time.....
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8 comments:
I'm proud of you too, Nancy! I guess you got that "Cold Snap" from here, eh? It doesn't last long, is the good news.
I wanted to share a couple of sweet things, about my Mom, because I haven't, anywhere else.
There were a couple of corospondences we had recently, and she always tries to write a little note. There were two. One said "I am glad you have that big coat, to keep you warm. The truth is, it is not the warmest coat I have, but am so tickled she remebers it, it is easily 15 years old, and I have been gone for Eight!
The other thing she said (her handwriting is hard to read) was, "I am still enjoying The Pants, "AND" the Jaacket, that you sent to me! So, I guess she is wearing them both? The only way I will know, is when I got to visit again.
I am putting together another outfit for her. A cute cardigan sweater, blue, with snow-flakes, and will try to find her some more draw-string pants,(comfy) and will try to sneak in a Pair of "Sketchers" Tennis Shoes, with no laces. I'm going to call them a "Valentine's Present" and say "Look Mom, no laces!"
I miss my Mom too, just for different reasons. :-(
You done good, Nancy. Going to a funeral right now would be extremely difficult, but the fact you put your friend's needs ahead of yours certainly defines you character. You are a good friend.
Funny - I was remembering my mom's chili just the other day. She often made it on cold winter nights, too.
((hugs))
Sky - you just keep on sending your mom those outfits! She must be really enjoying them to send you a note! :)
I AM MOST PROUD! lol *HUGGLES* I am glad you were there for you friend, and I am glad you made chili even if it made you kinda sad. It is going to be ok for both of us I think? ALL of us. Anyways thanks for showing me what the right direction is. I don't know what I would do with out you all.
Congratulations Nancy! For doing something for your friend even though it was painful. And, congratulations on taking care of yourself by knowing your limits and sticking to them regardless of what anyone else thinks. I'd say both of those are far more than baby steps.
Love and blessings,
Ann
I'm proud of you sweetie. I don't know if that is something I could do or not. I know it must be so hard to deal with all the memories that you had to push aside for so long. ((HUGS)) to you my friend.
I'm proud of you too, Nancy. I'm sure it was difficult but you showed your friend what a wonderful person you are. I'm also sure your friend appreciated you being there.
Chili must have been the "cold night" cooking menu for all of our mothers. Mom always made the best chili. I made some last week with her recipe.
Nancy, I am proud of you as well. ((((hugs)))) It is so hard to revisit those painful times or memories. You are indeed a good friend.
A innocent pot of chili can conjure up so many memories. My chili memories are of Halloween when my mom would make chili. Of course she made it other times but that seemed to be the kickoff for chili season.
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