a friend of mine from my book club lost her mother early monday morning. she had not been in the best of health and vicki said they used to say her mom had 9 lives as numerous times in the past they thought she would not pull through only to rebound and enjoy life some more. this past weekend, that was not to be the case.
visitation was this afternoon/evening. i wanted to go yet must admit i had some reservations. this was the first visitation i would attend since russ died. what i think affected me as much was the memory of my mom's death. in a little over 2 weeks it will be 2 years since she died. today was also bitterly cold, -30+ wind chill. schools were closed due to the cold. this was also the exact weather when my mom died. i remember some relatives and close friends were unable to make her funeral due to the cold weather. i had not been outside all day and the thought of it was not appealing for many reasons.
i drove with bob and 3 other gals from my book club. strength in numbers definitely holds true. we stayed for part of the visitation but i knew i was not ready to stay for the funeral service. i think everyone understood but to be honest, if they didn't, too bad.
when we got home, i decided it was a good night for chili. that also triggered memories. i remembered how my mom always cooked chili in the winter about once a week and how it always tasted so good, especially on cold nights. well, tonight would definitely qualify as a good chili night. i also remembered how last year we only had chili once. as much as russ loved chili, it went right through him, so bob and i decided, it wasn't worth it. well, life changes and goes on whether we want it to or not. and days like this are hard but we also learn how important it is to take those baby steps. i'm proud of myself for making it through the day. one day at a time.....
Nine Years and Counting
4 months ago