Thursday, February 21, 2008

moving forward


yesterday was the first day since i have started blogging that i did not check in with my own or anyone's else's blog for that matter. i'm not really sure why that happened. i did think about it after dinner but bob was on the computer for quite some time and by the time he got off i decided i was tired and just went to bed.

yesterday i had an interview with the staff at the oncology clinic where i have applied and am interested. it is similar in set up to a clinic i worked at 20 years ago but this practice is larger. the staff i met seemed nice and all got along well. one of the nurses was a little brash in some of her questions to me but i think i handled it well. afterwards i wondered how i would have reacted to her prior to me caregiving, if it would have rattled me more. i don't know, we all admit that this process of caregiving has changed us and i would like to think i am more tolerant of others because of it. i also think these nurses are pretty protective of the staff they have and want to make sure whoever comes in to work with them and supervise them will be a good fit. and that's what i want to know as well.

yesterday was also 5 months since russ died. maybe that's why i didn't make more of an effort to go on the blogs. i felt pretty good about the day and i wonder if subconsciously i wanted to see if i was strong enough to get through the day by myself. like terry said this morning, i not sure anyone else realized it was an anniversary day of sorts. bob didn't say anything to me about it nor did the boys when i talked to them about the lunar eclipse last night. but that's ok too. life goes on and i want them to be happy. i want to be happy too. i know i will always remember these days whether anyone else does but i was glad that yesterday came and went without sadness.

11 comments:

StefanieRose said...

Nancy, your so strong I can feel it. I am going to fallow your lead on this one. I know it was a hard day for you yesterday but I am proud and even glad you stepped back from the blog's for a bit. I do it more and more often and hen when I come back I am more happy to see you all. Take care of my friend Nancy her dad would want you to.

Joanne said...

I remembered the date, Nancy. I remember Terry's, Betsy's, Lori's, Stef's and Cinn's, too. I just hate to bring it up unless you make mention of it first. I'm really glad you made it through the day without sadness. That's great progress. ((HUGS)) Good luck with the job. Keep us posted.

Lori1955 said...

I remembered sweetie. How could I ever forget that week. Even now my stomach is in knots just thinking about it. I'm so glad you got through it without saddness.

I am so excited for you about your interview. I am praying that you get the job. It sounds like this staff has become a family. That's always good to be a part of on any job. Keep us informed.

Unknown said...

I have never done well with brash people. Don't think I've improved much in that area.

Praying for you and Bob.

rilera said...

It's good to take a break once in a while. Hugs to you nancy. Take care.

StefanieRose said...

9PM Eastern, Blogger family Dinner, Every thrusday night, Chatroom 2 on ALZ boards, post back on my blog if this works. :)

SKYGIRL said...

I'm glad you made it smoothly through this Day, Nanc. I suspect they will get easier (the anniversaries) the first year, being the hardest.

I don't think we ever need to feel guilty for feeling...Happy. It is rare in our world, and no reason to keep it away, with guilt.

You deserve every happiness, and I am so very certain, that both of your Parents, would want that for you.

I hope this job is "the" one! But if it's not, it just means there is a better 'fit' for you elsewhere.

{{{{HUGS}}}}}

¸.•*´)ღ¸.•*´Chris said...

I'm glad that you had a reprieve from the sadness and was able to remember and not feel so much pain. I am finding it a bit easier as the months go by.

Good luck on the job prospect! Sounds like it might be a good fit for you in that clinic. Keep us up to date as you are able. We are pulling for you:)

rainbowheart said...

Nancy,
I hope that everything goes well with the job. I am still looking..and that gets so old and exhausting. There are days that I want to find a corner and hide it, away from everyone. I'm not giving up tho. Take care..and have a good week....

~Betsy said...

I think the staff you are interviewing with need a slap in the head! You are a wonderful person who will bring knowledge, experience, love and compassion to a field where it is desperately needed. They are foolish if they don't snap up this opportunity to allow you to join their staff.

I'm glad you got through the anniversary a little better than the last. I admire your strength.

((hugs))

Unknown said...

ha ha - I'm with Betsy!

That's why "they" (the guys) keep me away from people and let my son do all the talking!!

Prayed for you and Bob this morning.