Sunday, November 4, 2007

for betsy




2 days ago betsy's mom passed away peacefully in her sleep. i met betsy a few month's ago through our blogs and have always felt a connection to her. it seems hard to realize it was only relatively a short time ago. our lives were fairly similar. her dad passed away in december of 2005 suddenly and unexpectedly. her mother had AD and was unable to live by herself so betsy moved her in with her and her family. betsy has 2 children (a daughter in college and planning a wedding and a very active high school son) and a wonderfully supportive husband. she also has 1 sibling. betsy also attempted to try to work out of her home for the business she and her husband own. she became a 24/7 caregiver. some days were easier than others but most were frustrating as she watched the mother she knew and loved loose a little more of herself every day and betsy was helpless to do anything about it. yet betsy hung in there and loved and cared for and supported her mother.

there must be many conflicting emotions running through betsy's mind and heart. to loose both parents in a relatively short time frame is extremely difficult yet she had already lost her mom some time ago for the most part. i know she takes comfort in knowing that her mom is now whole again and with her dad. betsy, you will have difficult days ahead of you as you now have time to grieve the loss of both of your parents. take your time, be gentle with yourself, and take baby steps in doing so. these have been the words of advice given to me by yourself and others. now it is your turn to listen and try the same.

please know i am here for you as are many of the other friends you have met and made on the internet. it is hard to comprehend that the first 3 real blogging friends i made back in the summer, lori, flinty and betsy; we have all lost our LO's to AD. i have met many more along the way who have also suffered losses and will continue to be here for those still caring for their LO's. we are family.

may God watch over you and your family betsy as you endure the next few days, weeks and months adjusting to your new life. please know every time i see an angel ornament i will think of your mother. God bless us all.

on a happy note, my niece kimi, who did a wonderful job reading all our personal memories at russ' funeral is celebrating a special day today. happy birthday kimi and cheer those packers on to a victory! have a great day today and always. i love you!

9 comments:

Unknown said...

It is just so strange that you and Lori and Betsy and I all began reading each others' blogs when we did.

It is just such a short while ago that I was praying for Lori and Betsy to be approved for hospice. And Betsy wasn't the first time I think. Seems so strange now to relive some of that.

I remember praying for the Lord to ease Helen's pain. I remember praying for Russ to be able to get home. It still surprised me when Helen died first and then just a few days later Russ followed. Even then I didn't really think my dad would be next.

When my dad died I called hospice and my brother and then I thought I have to let Betsy and Lori and Nancy know. And by then there were others who I know I wanted to tell as well.

I find myself grieving for my friends more than I did for myself.

I hadn't thought of some of the other comparisons you wrote but appreciate your post.

Joanne said...

What a beautiful post to Besty, Nancy. I couldn't believe we both put up angel pictures for her in our blogs. I guess there's a lot of truth in the fact that we all have become close. I think it's wonderful that you, Terry, Betsy and Lori all began reading each other's blogs about the same time. You've all been a wonderful support group for each other. I'm truly blessed to have found all of you and consider you not only friends but family as well. When I read Betsy's blog about her mom, I became a bit scared. I'd just told her that her mom and mine seem to be at the same stage of Alzheimer's. I knew her mom was declining, but I didn't know she was that close to the end. All of your losses sadden me. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Lori1955 said...

What a great post Nancy. Yes you and Betsy really do have a lot in common.

I just keep thinking what a blessing all my blogging friends have been to me. I truly think we were all meant to find each other when we did.

arutherford said...

Beautiful post Nancy. It shows the depth of feelings fellow caregivers develop for one another.

But come on now folks. Just cuz I don't blog doesn't mean I haven't prayed for each of you, grieved for each of you and grown to love and respect each of you!!

I so enjoy everyone's blog but I just have not been inspired or found the time to blog. I was afraid it would be one more demand on me that I would fail at. ; }

So keep blogging and I'll keep reading, commenting, praying and encouraging each one of you.
Love to all,
Ann

¸.•*´)ღ¸.•*´Chris said...

What a beautiful post dedicated to Betsy. You are a sweetheart Nancy....take care

nancy said...

thanks you all for your kind words but it is because of all of you and the experiences that we have all traveled and shared that we feel this way.

and ann, i mean you too! i have told you how much your prayers and support have meant to me and do hope you realize i mean it!

i agree terry, sometimes i feel i grieve more for all of you than i have for myself and russ. is that normal?

rilera said...

Nancy, what lovely sentiments for Betsy. I hope you are doing OK too. It's been tough with all these passages.

~Betsy said...

Nancy - thank you for such a lovely post. I also feel a special connection with you as our circumstances are so similar.

Our little family is as special to me as it is to the rest of you.

Blessings to you and I thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

StefanieRose said...

I am glad we have each other as family. I just want to be here for everyone as much as I can. This is a beautiful post Nancy. Thanks for the Utube link I really like this line that i typed up from it:

“I can’t tell you any sure way to happiness. I only know that you got to go and find it for yourself. You can’t lean on the success of your parents and you cant be limited by there failures. It makes no difference what they did or didn’t do you just stand on your own two feel. The world belongs to you as much as the next fellow, so don’t give it up. And try not to be scared of people who don’t like you, just you try to like them. And just keep your faith and your courage and you will turn out alright.” ~Carousel