Saturday, November 1, 2008


please don't ask me if i'm over it yet. i'll never be "over it."

please don't tell me he/she is in a better place. he/she isn't here.

please don't say "at least he/she isn't suffering." i haven't come to terms with why he/she had to suffer at all.

please don't tell me you know how i feel, unless you have lost someone to ________.

please don't tell me to get on with my life. i'm still here, you'll notice.

please don't ask me if i feel better. bereavement isn't a conditions that "clears up."

please don't tell me "God never makes a mistake" or "it was God's will." you mean He did this on purpose?"

please don't tell me "at least you had him/her for ______years/months." what year would you choose for them to die?

please don't tell me God never gives you more than you can bear. who decides how much another person can bear?

PLEASE - just say you are sorry.

PLEASE - just say you remember him/her if you do.

PLEASE - just let me talk if i want to

PLEASE - just let me say his/her name without turning away or changing the subject.

PLEASE - let me cry when i must.

i was recently given a copy of this, and thought it was worth sharing.


Lori1955 said...

Beautiful Nancy and so true. Grief and pain are so very personal and even if someone else has been through it, no two people go through it the same. Each loss is our own to bear, each pain is unique to us and the time it takes to heal is different for everyone.

¸.•*´)ღ¸.•*´Chris said...

I am copying and pasting this to several people.

All of us have been told these well meaning but useless words. They mean nothing, really and sound very foolish when a person thinks about it.

(((Hugs Nancy)))

~Betsy said...

This is perfect for me today. Thanks, Nancy.
Love and prayers to you. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

rilera said...

That is wonderful and expresses my own feelings quite well. Thank you for sharing this nancy. And take care of yourself my friend. Baby steps.

Cinnamin said...

Well said!

I'm still fighting for the "me" time for those "gotcha" moments when I can't stop the tears. Not many people understand those times... But with my blog family, I know you all understand only too well.

How are you doing Nancy? Are you happy with your new job? Enjoying the fall colors? Hope so!